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White washing
On Tuesday, Jan. 20, Barack Hussein Obama became the 44th President of the United States, and white conservatives across America suffered a small crisis of confidence. Of course, white conservatives still control many political offices in the country, and they have most of the money, and they have access to better health care and education, and they hold most of the head coaching positions in the NFL… but it was still a blow to their egos.

In order to keep their spirits alive in these troubled times, Boulder Weekly has created a list of areas in which white conservatives continue to excel: 1) watching Clint Eastwood movies, 2) making bean casseroles, 3) wearing toupes, 4) using outdated colloquialisms like darn tootin’ and you betcha, and 5) eating high-fiber cereal.
Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com
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This is not satire.