Give this man a knighthood already:

An Unlikely Hero Blooms in Ibiza: Orlando Bloom Sort of Punches Justin Bieber

In the early hours of Wednesday morning, Orlando Bloom valiantly succeeded where the Miami police force, the Canadian government, and the Obama administration have previously failed, managing to finally hold Justin Bieber accountable and punish him accordingly. Kind of.

On this fateful morning, Bloom took a quick break from unsuccessfully playing a 16-year-old in his Broadway production of Romeo and Juliet to successfully act like a hormonal, jealous teen, engaging Justin Bieber in a round of fisticuffs at the Cipriani restaurant in Ibiza (obviously). Bloom hasn’t played a role this convincingly since…well, ever. Plus, it must be a relief to the aging actor that he can still make girls around the world scream and go crazy without even putting on his Legolas weave. While this Bieber reckoning has been a long time coming, the fact the Bloom ended up being the man to administer the beating makes this story as strange and unexpected as it is straight up awesome.

Heh.