I’m so mad.

I’m mad at BP because I probably ate the last affordable “Baltimore” crabs (which mostly come from Louisiana) this evening.

I’m mad because Dennis Hopper died of ass cancer.

I’m mad because next week Pat Buchanan will again be a paid guest on “Meet the Press”, and none of the assholes will ask him why his website sports articles by people who think Israel was behind 9/11.

I’m mad because the grrrls I meet on the street think my dog is cuter than I am.

I’m mad.

I’m so mad, I’m gonna go out and [censored] [deleted].

And I’m gonna take Muhammad with me, too!