Let me see if I get this.

The evil Obama regime arranged for its minions, possibly the maritime branch of the ACORN militia, to sabotage this rig so they could pass cap and trade and add emphasis to their celebrations of Lenin’s birthday (cover name: “Earth day”). They could have used an insider, recruiting someone with a Muslim name since such an operative could bypass the usual security checks in the name of political correctness.

When do I get my Fox News contract?