Charlie Sheen takes stage in Detroit: ‘I’m a giant and leaky bag of mayhem’

10:05 — More comments from people leaving early: “I was expecting a comedy show.” “It’s just like hanging out at his house.”

10:03 — The show is now an unmitigated disaster. People are leaving early. Attendee Chris Acchione, who came all the way from Toronto for the show, says, “He’s making a fool of himself. Is there a bigger loser in the world?”

9:50 — The show appears to be almost over. More padding.

9:43 — Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.” He asks if people have any questions. A girl from the audience asks for his best pornstar story. Sheen doesn’t want to tell that one. He’s starts telling a story about getting his car stolen — he says the story involves crack — but nobody wants to hear it.

9:40 — Sheen says he’s going to “Tell some stories about crack. I figured Detroit was a good place to tell some crack stories. Show of hands who here has tried crack? I don’t do crack anymore, but this is a good f—ing night to do some crack.” The audience boos.

9:35 — The show started late and has become a padded and disjointed mess. Currently onstage, an old lame movie starring Johnny Depp is playing. (I think the film is called RPG?) People are booing. Sheen stops the video and says, “Okay, so RPG was a bomb. Tonight is an experiment.” This is a disaster.

9:23 — We are watching video of Charlie Sheen playing Call of Duty.

9:20 — People start booing. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

9:18 – “Nothing terrifies a troll more than its own reflection,” Sheen continues, before shifting gears into politics. “In a recent poll, they told me I’d bring down that whore Palin. I don’t have time for that nonsense.” [Read about the poll he’s referring to here.]

9:15 — Nobody understands a word Sheen is saying. “”Is anybody else as confused by this s— as I am?” he finally asks. There are roars from the crowd. “I wrote every word!”