As always, Alexandra Petrie has a hilarious take on events of the day.

It’s a Trump fire sale, and everything must go!

A sampling:

Act now — before the state of New York does — and add any of the following exciting investments to your portfolio today!

Tower: Lightly used, escalator included! If you love brass fixtures, you are going to love this place. Free brass letters convey but don’t need to.
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