re: #126 Romantic Heretic

I’ve always found the Civ games are like being in Monty Python’s Cheese Shop skit.

Me: Can I get some horses?
Game: I’m afraid we’re out of stock with that product.
Me: How about iron?
Game: The last one just wen out the door, sir.
Me: Coal?
Game: Not available in this region.
Me: Oil?
Game: Another excuse.
Me: I’m going to lose because the best units I can build are Crossbowman and I can’t run an industry because I have no power.
Game: I’m afraid so, sir.

Frustrating to say the least.

Yeah, I’ve tried three times to start a domination run in the last couple days:

First game:

Me: “Alright, I’ll play as Rome and overrun the world with hordes of Legionnaires!”
*10 turns later*
Me: “Hey Siri, play ‘Gilligan’s Island’ theme.”

Second game:

Me: “Okay, this time I’ll play as the Aztecs and go for an early victory.”
Computer: “Sounds good, here’s your neighbors: The Huns, the Zulus, and the Greeks. And look, here’s Shaka with a welcoming party…”
Me: “Ffffffffffff….”

Third game:

Me: “Alright, we’ll try Rome again, and hey this looks like a good map. I’ll wallop the first guy who settles near me.”
Napoleon: “Bonjour, my bestest friend in the world.”
Me: “OH COME ON!”